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Jon Svetkey

Ready To Rip

"I'm like a tight pair of trousers, I'm ready to rip!"

That's what Crazy Eddie said to Louie the Lip.

"It's Friday night, I've got a wad of twenty-dollar bills..

"I wanna blow it all on pretty girls and cheap thrills."

Eddie said, "I'm ready Louie, let's go hit the strip...

"Cuz I'm ready, ready, ready, I'm ready to rip!"

Crazy grew up Eddie in the town of Due East

A little west of Nowhere where the maps expect it least

Louie hailed all the way from far down in the mouth

A lonely place just offa Route 11 heading south

Louie stopped for Eddie on a northern hitchhiking trip

Crazy shook his hand and said, “I’m ready to rip.”


Well he was ready to rip, he was ready to roll

All the way from New York out to Jackson Hole

He didn’t have no clue, barely had a grip

But he was ready, he was ready, he was ready to rip

Louie met two girls and started buying lotsa booze

Things were going great until he showed them his tattoos

Eddie said, "You really dropped the meat into the dirt

"Pick it up and dust it off and go put on your shirt."

That's when Louie learned Eddie was smarter than a whip.

And he was ready, he was ready, he was ready to rip.


They hit the road and left a lot of rubber in their tracks

Just a couple dharma bums like Cassady and Kerouac

This story ain’t the blues ain’t no unhappily ever after

It’s only rock and roll, liquor and girls in every chapter

You wanna know the moral of their relationship?

Ya gotta be ready, ready, ready to rip!